July 30, 2012

Those times when love and pain
are both the same,
when solitude and death
are all you feel is left.

Those times when happiness
escapes and loneliness
makes your world feel cold
and freezes your soul.

Those times when you feel
like the only thing that’s real
is the sorrow in your heart
that’s tearing you apart.

Those times when the depth of depression
seems like the only remaining option,
like there is no way back to the light
and no point in continuing to fight.


Slow Rain

June 5, 2012

A slow rain fell
and washed the tears away
and washed the blood away,
red to pink to nothing at all,
and tried to wash the pain away
but forty days and forty nights
couldn’t make her feel okay.

Inspired by My Word Wizard.

You used my love against me,
made a prison of my heart;
You kissed me just to trap me,
then you watched me fall apart.

You threw away the only key
and left me there to die,
captive to my own naivete
and still I don’t know why.

The very day that I met you,
you cast me in these chains.
Now every day I feel anew,
so much insufferable pain.


April 17, 2011

The lies you tell
The truths I hide
The times we laughed
The times I cried
The love I gave
The pain you took
The way things are
The way they look
The random smiles
The sudden tears
The broken dreams
The mended fears
The hopeful plans
The altered goals
The things we did
The growing holes
The time to love
The time to fight
The tender kiss
The hurtful bite
The soft caress
The gentle touch
The not enough
The too damned much



Imported from my old blog.

xii. After the Fire

March 20, 2011

The rain came.
It calmed the flames
and washed away the ashes
that remained.
It softened the contours
of the ruins left behind.

The rain brings with it
A kind of quiet
The rumble of thunder
where hours before
the rumble of fire
had roared;
the patter of raindrops
where hours before
the crackle of flames
had scored the scene.

The rain
is a blanket
that falls on the ground
and covers the land
and masks the contours.
In the rain
every jagged edge is blunted,
every corner dulled.
In the rain
everything is softened,
swept away.

The rain washes
down walls;
the black of
charred wood and brick
running to the ground
forming burnt puddles
that soak into the street,
eventually fading away.

The rain washes
down walls
and washes
down faces
of those that look on.
Their tears are carried
to the ground,
forming wretched puddles
that disappear,
by the downpour.

The rain
carries the ashes away,
it hushes the roar
of the fire’s rage,
it blunts the edges
torn by violent flames
and washes the
tears of the watchers

The rain stopped.
In the midst of the streams
that rippled
and shimmered
the ruins stood damp
and were you to look
you would never guess
that just hours before,
these fragile bones
had been so much more.
You’d never guess that
just hours before,
the rumble of fire
had roared through
its core.

The rain,
however heavy,
however cold,
however hard,
cannot wash away the pain
they feel inside.
The sorrow stains them
in a way that rain
cannot remove.
Their tears are gone,
just like the ash has gone,
but the pain,
cannot be soothed.

xxxvii. The Game

February 27, 2011

He saw their love as little more,
Than an experiment.
A game to play,
That had no rules.
And so their story went:

He loved her just enough,
That she let him inside.
And when she did,
He set up camp,
Until the day she died.

The game of course, did not last long,
Though she would not give in.
But with no rules to speak of, he,
Was not a cheat,
And she could never win.

He teased her every way he could,
Told every lie he knew,
To make her think,
This thing was real,
Though not a dot was true.

The more he did to cause her pain,
The harder she would try,
To win his love,
And make him hers,
But he just watched her cry.

He didn’t feel a thing for her,
And when he saw her tears,
He felt no guilt,
No sense of sorrow, just,
Used them to find her fears.

And when he knew just what she feared,
He knew how to proceed;
With every move,
He hurt her more,
Indulged in his own greed.

But she, confused by what she felt,
Let him get closer every day,
She thought she might,
Get through to him,
And teach him not to play.

She thought that he could learn to love,
Of this, she felt so sure.
She thought that she,
Could make him change,
But this, of course, was just what he’d hoped for.

He let her make her futile moves;
He let her dig her hole,
For every time she tried,
She failed,
And every failure helped him take her soul.

When eventually he left,
She was a mere shell.
And yet she loved him still,
And therefore, could not see,
That he’d left her alone in hell.

For him, the game was done;
The final whistle blown;
For her it never stopped –
She never looked for more –
And when she died, his was the only love she’d ever known.



Inspired by the following lyric from Rilo Kiley’s Silver Lining:

“I never felt so wicked,
As when I willed our love to die”

xxiv. Not Yet

February 2, 2011

The pain was good. He needed it.
He trembled at how good it felt.
He didn’t plan to fall into the pit;
Just peer over the edge. He knelt,
Down on the ground, his body taut,
And leaning forward pushed the knife,
Against his skin. ‘Ah, yes,’ he thought.
To feel the thrill of gambling with his life



Inspired by @PoetNub‘s prompt: “The pain was good…”

xv. The Pier (Shakespeare)

January 20, 2011

The road, neglected, left to overgrow;
Reduced to tracks now, barely visible.
You’d never find it if you didn’t know.
To him, the road is unforgettable.

It’s not as though he hasn’t always tried,
To put out of his mind what happened there;
This place is why so much of him has died.
That he should have to come back feels unfair.

And yet, he came. He always comes, always.
Regardless of the pain, he keeps his word.
He tries to focus on the better days;
The days before, when laughter was still heard.

He walks along the path onto the pier.
The flowers placed, he leaves until next year.

vi. Real Love

January 6, 2011

Working Title: “Real Love”
Updated Title: “Abuse Me”

Suggested Title: “Love?”

(Thanks, Lee.)


I love to be there by your side,
When times get hard and things get tough;
I love the way you turn to me,
To share the pain when things get rough.

I know you like to have me close,
Though others might not realise,
I know how much you need me here,
I see it deep down in your eyes.

Those other people do not see,
They don’t see you the way I do,
They don’t see how you look at me,
Don’t see the way your love bursts through.

Your love is printed on my skin,
My naked body tells the tale,
Of love’s triumph against the odds;
A story written down in braille.

But I won’t show a single soul,
The special diary that we keep,
The hints, the symbols of your love,
How your devotion makes me weep.

See, only we can understand,
That’s why we can’t let others in.
See, only we can understand,
The way your love can’t be kept in.

I feel your love, so strong for me,
So strong that I fear I might break;
A love so strong it shatters me,
So strong it makes my body ache.

For every door I walk into,
For every fall upon the stair,
I feel your love a little more;
I feel how much, how hard you care.

With every touch, you weaken me,
A prisoner, I can’t resist,
I couldn’t leave you if I tried,
I’d miss your love, your kiss, your fist.



Inspired by the following lyrics:
The hints, the little symbols of your devotion ~AaTJ
A kiss with a fist is better than none ~F+TM
I walked into the door again ~SV

i. Love Eternal

January 2, 2011

I’d squeeze the breath right out of you,
And hold you lifeless in my arms,
So I could trust that you’d be true,
And not get lost to others’ charms.

I’d bleed the life out from your heart,
And watch it spill upon the floor,
So we would never be apart,
And you would not walk out the door.

I’d watch you writhe in agony,
And hold your hand as it grew weak,
To have you lying next to me,
And hear the last words you would speak.